So, I went home for Easter. I slept in my little bunk bed and ate my parent’s food and went to the pub with my buddies and we talked about our travels and our essays and the tattoos that we didn’t get and the tattoos that we’re going to get, and the huge weight of expectation which is slowly crushing us into the ground. So it was mostly fun.
But, yeah, I think for a lot of people who are about to graduate (and I am set to graduate in just over a year – *scream emoji face*) it can feel like a huge, unbearable, unmanageable step to go from University (lovely, safe University where it’s still acceptable to get drunk on a Tuesday for no good reason) to adult life, where you have a job and the ladders in your tights look like bad planning rather than a display of how on point your fashion sense is. Also, you have to get a job, and where, I ask you, does one get one of those? I mean, for reals. Is there a Hogwarts-style sorting ceremony? Do I work away slavishly as an intern until somebody accidentally makes me CEO? Or perhaps I have to process around the shard three times while wearing a natty skirt suit and then job offers will fall into my hands? I really, really don’t know.
But I do know something. And I’m about to tell you what that is by way of an overly long anecdote (sorry not sorry).
So, on Easter day we had a big group of family over to visit. It was great, we had at least three different types of cake, I got to see one of my big cousins and hear all about what the rest of them are up to, and my aunt even let me talk her ear off about my dissertation plans. We had an aggressively competitive easter egg hunt (which my Granpa slyly won with his superior egg hunting tactics) and then we settled down to the conversation which every student dreads, ‘So, what are your plans for after Uni?’. I listened quietly to my sister, who plans to be wildly successful and fantastic (which she already is ❤ ), then when it was my turn I just smiled, shrugged, and said ‘I have absolutely no idea’.
It made me feel weird. (I should say right now that my family are super supportive of everything that I do or don’t do, and they were all interested to hear about the kinds of things I think I might do – honestly if I said that I was going to become a bee keeper in the remote foothills of the Himalayas they’d probably be super proud and interested in the practise of bee keeping.) Anyway, we talked about the kinds of things that I definitely don’t want to do, and everybody said that they will be interested to find out what I eventually end up doing, and I was like, well, so will I. But here it is – I don’t know what I want to do, but I do get to choose what I do. It’s not a case of wait and see, it’s a case of making it happen. And that means I have to make it happen.
So, I’m still terrified, and (sorry Dad), I’m still gonna get those tattoos, but I’m also going to choose to live a life which makes me happy, and at the moment that means travel, sunshine, bare feet, and saying yes to everything. At the moment, I’m choosing to have no plan.
I’m pretty excited about it.