On comparing ourselves to other people. (especially Beyoncé)
I spend a lot of my time being kinda sad that I’m not Beyoncé.
The saddest thing about that sentence is how it’s absolutely one hundred percent true. (and also by ‘a lot of my time’, I mean a lot.)
It occurs to me that spending so much of my time comparing myself to Beyoncé is a) ridiculous and b) a good thing to write a blog post about.
I know so many people who seem to gauge the quality of their life against other people’s lives. It is honestly one of the saddest and most damaging things that I and my friends do to ourselves, and to each other.
So I decided to give you all a bit of a pep talk in case any of you guys are suffering from comparing yourselves to Beyoncé and forgetting that you are amazing all by yourself! Here we go…
First off, don’t forget that even Beyoncé has off days. The filter of social media can sometimes make us look at our friend’s lives as if they are perfect, and then feel bad about the flaws in our own. If I’m slouching around in my pyjamas at two in the afternoon the last thing I want to see is pictures on Instagram of people who have already gotten dressed and had breakfast and done productive stuff. It makes me feel like maybe my Netflix marathon to celebrate another day of successfully not-doing-laundry wasn’t as cool as I thought it was. I try and remember that nobody shares their crappy days on Facebook or Instagram, so all we see is the good stuff, which leaves us feeling like we’re the only ones that are imperfect! (And also that watching Netflix smugly from bed is basically my favourite activity and I should just give myself a massive gold star for loving myself and caring for myself enough to indulge in the odd duvet day every now and then!)
– Even Beyoncé has off days – and that’s totally okay!
I’m not Beyoncé, I’m just not, but I have to remind myself that that sad fact is basically the only thing I can’t change about my situation. I want to be Beyoncé because she’s successful, she works hard, she has a lovely family, she’s beautiful, and she’s an icon of female strength in a particularly male-dominated industry. But, as I recently realised, I can do those things too! I can get off my butt and work hard if I want to, and I can emulate the qualities I respect in my role models, with no need to beat myself up for not being exactly like them. I have to say I’m pretty disappointed about this because it means I actually have to, you know, work for the stuff I want instead of being able to sit around moping about how unobtainable it all is, but on balance this is a good thing! Plus, you are totally your own person, and while you can work towards changing yourself in a positive way, don’t forget that you are just as valuable and amazing as Beyoncé without having to be exactly like her. Be you!
– You are not Beyoncé, but you can work towards emulating her awesomeness in your own unique way
Finally, and this is a big one, you should never ever judge other people for not being Beyoncé. Okay, okay, I’m taking the Beyoncé metaphor waaay too far – but my point is that when we judge other people – even silently inside our heads – we’re basically pushing our own insecurities onto other people – and then judging them! No no no. I constantly find myself noticing things in other people and thinking harshly about them before realising that they’re actually the exact same things that I’m insecure about in myself. Tiny eyes get a lot of criticism from me (silently, I don’t go around shaming people for their tiny eyes in public), and that is, of course because one of my own eyes is half the size of the other and I’ve developed a bit of a complex about it. If I could accept the tiny eyes of others, it might make it easier for me to accept my own (; Hahaha, I’m actually considering surgery,but I feel like eye surgery would be expensive, and, oh yes, that’s right – completely unneccesary.
– Be you, be happy, be kind, kids ❤
Hope you don’t mind me being all soppy and weird. I’m certainly not an expert on issues of this kind, but I thought I’d say my bit because this issue is so close to my heart.
More moving-in news on its way!
Big Love, PV x