I JUST WANT TO CHECK MY EMAILS: Question Tuesday

Question Tuesday

Question of the week: Why can’t I check my emails without worrying that internet pornography is affecting my marriage?

Or which illnesses will get me a better pension, or nine things I need to know about the new Xbox One (even though I didn’t even know there was a new Xbox). In between ‘Man planning to sell testicle’ and ‘Jen Aniston debuts new ear piercing’ (A fifty-six second video on that one), my email home page is completely ridiculous.

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I can’t even quickly log on to read an email from my Dad without getting sucked into the story of Sharon Osbourne’s latest scandalous TV appearance, and before I know it I have watched five videos about Sharon and then drastically segued into a section called ‘Parentdish’ where scaremongering journalists raise fear and loathing among parents everywhere, with headlines such as ‘Is your child a bully?’, ‘Are we raising a generation of screen addicts?’, ‘are you suffocating  your child with love?’ or, my personal favourite, ‘Teenagers up and down the country are injecting pritt-stick into their eyeballs!’ (this is usually followed by an article which insists ‘they are all doing it’, to which I usually feel the need to insist that they all are certainly not.) Anyway, I’ve now looked through a gallery of ‘bad children’s art’*, followed a slideshow of Jennifer Aniston’s ‘style revolution’ all the way through to the bitter end, and been horrified by a video entitled; ‘Man buried alive found by cemetery visitor’. I can’t even see the e-mail button amongst all the news and adverts and then when I do I am so depressed about the the man who (successfully) sued his wife for having an ugly baby that I don’t even want to check my emails.

Question Number Two: How did we ever live without makeup?

I’ve been doing  a little photojournalism piece entitled WHAT IS MY FACE!?

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Before/After … #whatismyface

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10am/10pm #whatismyface

Shout out to the ancient egyptians for first coming up with the idea of crushing up beetles and smearing them all over their wrinkled hungover little faces.

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Queen Nefertiti, rocking winged eyeliner since before it was cool. #personalhero

PV x

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*I assume they meant unskilled art, rather than art done by children with attitude problems, but it really was hard to tell.

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