Dear Fresher

Dear Fresher,

I read, listened to, and was lectured with a ton of advice before I left for University, but, really, as my Dad would so accurately say “in the end, you’re on your own.”

Which is true. However much people tell you that everything will be fine, it doesn’t really mean a lot. It’s like people saying ‘Oh, I’m sure you’ll be fine’ before you walk into a maths exam, and all you want to do is punch them in the mouth and then assure them that they will also be ‘fine’. Not that I would ever resort to that kind of violence… sorry-about-that-here’s-a-picture-of-a-puppy.


Anyway, it really did turn out okay and, if it counts as evidence, I am writing this now sitting in my flat kitchen surrounded by five awesome people who have become my friends in the last few days.

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But because that wouldn’t have stopped me feeling sick with worry when I arrived three days ago, and because Italian food, I am instead going to teach you how to make the easiest, cheapest Spaghetti Bolognaise ever.

Dear Fresher,

Start with one or two carrots, a red or white onion, a pack of mince (the cheapest – who are you trying to impress?), and tomato sauce (also, the cheapest. Seriously).

First, borrow some cooking oil from one of your gorgeous flat mates. (Be sure to repay them with the lending of cloths, eggs or stationery supplies, or, if you literally can bring nothing else to the table, your winning personality will suffice. This is a good way to make friends, and pooling resources always makes sense if you are sharing a kitchen…)

Add the cooking oil and all the mince and leave it to sizzle away in the pan until it is completely brown. Burning the mince slightly will add flavour. Honest.


While that’s cooking, grate the carrots, chop the onion and maybe read your course books if you’re still waiting. (If you ever have to read or study something for a long time, the kitchen is probably a good place to do it, this because the inning and outing of your flatmates will stop you from going crazy, and also because you might get free food or a cup of tea.)


Once you’re sure the mince is browned through, add the carrots and the onions, leave to cook for a little longer and then add the tomato sauce. Stir around, add salt and leave to simmer. You can also add cheese at this point but you can save money on both cheese and gym membership if you skip this step.


Serve immediately, and freeze the excess in portions so you have a quick meal for a lazy dinner (or lunch, or breakfast, depending on how you feel.)

Well done. Now doesn’t that make you feel like an adult?

Freshers week is fun, and even though you don’t believe me now, you will once it’s over.

Dear Fresher, 

I’m totally rooting for you.

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